As most of my readers know, I am somewhat of an anomaly as I love MMA and am a 62-year-old mother of two grown sons and six grandchildren from four to 16 years old.
The fact that I have been interested in MMA since around 1996 has been unusual to some, and apparently frightening to others, my doctors among them.
Recently I had an "incident" which I think was a small stroke and because of cardio/pulmonary issues have been having batteries of imaging and all sorts of tests and labs.
Although the results are not yet in, I have learned one interesting fact. My doctors were much more concerned about my interest in MMA than in my recent difficulties which have caused a loss of interest and many of the hoarded facts concerning it which once filled my brain and memory.
- B/R Ticket Guide
Now that I find myself unable to relate to this interest I am apparently more "normal" than I was when I was obsessed with it.
I admitted to my primary physician, as he was writing a referral to yet another neurologist, that I am still interested in Georges St. Pierre in a worrying grandmotherly fashion, but no longer have the undying interest in the sport that I had about 16 days ago.
"Good," he answered.
"But Doctor, what is wrong with me? Why did I suddenly lose interest in the sport?" I asked.
"Well," he replied, "Either you have just returned to normal, if the obsession was an abnormality, or you are experiencing more white matter lesions."
Ha! Isn't that a wonderful answer?
Now someone tell me that definition of "normal" once again.
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3 months ago
Wow Dorthy. This article saddens me yet, at the same time, I feel the undertones of your strong fighting spirit. I think normal is too subjective a term to define, and more importantly to care about. I think being happy while bringing joy to to others is much more important, and it seems like to me you have accomplished that just off your bio alone. And MMA has been a huge part of that.
And if, for whatever reason, you have lost some of that interest that doesn't take away from what it did mean to you. Hold on to that sense of humor and keep looking forward to Serra vs. Hughes and St. Pierre vs Penn! Doctors don't know everything, they only know what they know.
Keep fighting and God Bless
from 3 months ago
My definition of a "normal" me was a 62 year old MMA addict, but I guess to the doctor's it was a symptom. Scary, huh? My husband has been rejoicing about the money we will save on PPV, but I told him I am not quite that far gone yet and hope that watching will break through and miraculously "spark" something. Who knows? If old folks can have a second childhood I might recover in the middle of my dementia--strange things have always happened to me. Thanks for your good wishes.
3 months ago
Oh you normal alright!! I just had a CT scan done two days ago, while talking to the scan tech and RN both where like "...how can you watch that violence...", "...people getting hurt like that..." "It not healthy." I think it is because they're healer they must be wired different. My brother and two of my sister love MMA while my third sister the soon to be nurse not so much.
from 3 months ago
That is interesting because I used to be a nurse. Technically I guess I will always be a nurse, but I never looked at MMA as violence; I really thought of it as "art" in a very physical sense and like in any sport, the injuries are secondary. That is one reason I preferred GSP to BJ Penn. I never found what BJ did to be art or pretty--just a bloody mess and very grotesque, what with the blood licking--that grated the healer in me and pushed all my "psycho" alert buttons.. Be sure all of your sister's have seen the GSP vs Hughes fights before they make any final decisions on the sport.
from 3 months ago
One more reason your the bad lady I know D. Get better soon. You've got to keep watch over all of us trouble makers on BR. We need you to keep us straight at times.
from 3 months ago
Adam, that is very funny when it was all you bad guys who tried to keep me in line and acting my age.
3 months ago
Dorthy,
Hope you get better soon and don't stop writing about MMA. I love reading your articles.
from 3 months ago
Thank you Bill. My problem is that I have never been able to "fake it." If my interest in MMA is gone forever, my writing days will be over.
3 months ago
Dorothy-
To hell with the doctors! If you know it's not normal to no longer have interest in something you love, then that makes you the most normal person in the world.
I'm praying for you D!
Hugs!
Lise
from 3 months ago
Thanks Lisa, I can always use prayers. Until all my tests and consults are over I really won't know what is going on in my brain, just that it is pretty crowded with those white plaques.
3 months ago
Oh no! You'll have to let me know what your next interest is so I can read your articles concerning that instead. While I am sad to hear that you may be slipping from our ranks, I know that we can't fault you for it. Reminds me of when our singer quit the band to get married... sucked for the rest of us, but he had to do what made him happy and we had to understand and support that. Maybe your next interest will be one I'm into as well... are you into Kurt Vonnegut per chance? Woody Guthrie, the Redskins, or politics? I want to hear your input on something! Best of luck, I hope everything goes well, Brad
from 3 months ago
Right now I am listening to all the sad Country Western songs I listen to when I am really depressed. I sure didn't see this one coming and never dreamed I would be in this position. So far I am reading the articles on sports I still like and waiting to see what happens next. I thought I had found my bliss in MMA and writing about it. Who knows what will happen next--right now I am mourning the loss of a beloved pastime and am not "into" anything except my family, horses and dog. Thanks for your good luck wishes, let's wait and see.
3 months ago
I'll say a prayer for you Dorothy. I hope you get better soon. Have faith and try and stay in good spirits. I hope everything works out for you. Your next article will be great, lol. Take care and be well.
from 3 months ago
Thanks Derek!
3 months ago
Dorothy, I'm not a follower of MMA (in fact, I had to google it just to find out what that meant), but I read about your troubles and just wanted to say that my prayers are with you. I don't know much about your illness, but I certainly hope you can continue writing and doing the things you love.
3 months ago
Thank you, Bob. If you are a Cubs fan I know you are not a stranger to problems with your team. I guess loving any sport can let you down. My problem is probably due to progressing MS. Somehow I didn't forsee this happening to me. I had to give up being a nurse when I could no longer transcribe orders over the phone. For some reason I could no longer spell the name of drugs, organize tasks or remember how to perform injections and things I had been doing for a long time. My husband and family are frustrated that I was once on the Dean's list and now can't remember the most basic principles of medicine. That was very frightening; how unbelievable that it has happened again.
3 months ago
Dorothy,
Your contributions to this Community have been nothing short of outstanding...I'm no Doctor, but I have a feeling that your MMA days are far from over (just an instinctual sense). Let's wait and see how this plays out before we jump to any conclusions—few people are as passionate about the sport as you and it's hard to believe that could go away overnight!
It's been a true pleasure getting to know you and I sincerely hope that your medical condition improves. Please keep us posted to the best of your ability on what is going on in your life—we'll be rooting for you all the way.
3 months ago
Sincere thanks Zander for everything you have done for me; it's been grand!
3 months ago
dorothy,
i don't follow MMA but i know through the site that you are the anchor to that community.
also, you have given me kind and encouraging words in my own articles.
my thoughts and prayers are with you.
as the son of an RN and a teacher, i know light you shed upon your patients. and with the personality you display on B/R i know the light you share with your family and friends.
good luck to you and hope to hear from you again really soon. take care.
from 3 months ago
Thank you Justin and I hope you continue to be successful on your site.
3 months ago
There are many things I wanted to write.....but I find "Thanks" feel's the most right.
from 3 months ago
Back at you David. I love you young guys for being so supportive.
3 months ago
Although I am relatively new to BR, seeing I have only been on for about 4/5 months, I was overwhelmed by this news. Thank you for all your articles thus far. I feel our community won't be the same without you in it and I am sure others will agree. Just watch the upcoming fights and I am sure the fire will return. Stay away from that elite xc crap that might drag you down. By the way who wants to be normal. If we are hung up on the fighting stuff how about we start with the fact you are a 62 year old women who knows how to operate a computer and blogs. I will use the word special not weird and people can just take their normal somewhere else. God bless you keep us updated.
from 3 months ago
Whether it was "normal" or not, I would rather not have changed. My doctors can not appreciate what a loss this is to me. Part of "me" has left the building and may not come back. I keep wondering if this is what Alzheimers is like. In time perhaps I will accept it, but it feels like a raw wound now. I will wait to see what happens next cause there is not much else to do.
3 months ago
D I'm prayin' for ya'. Get better.
from 3 months ago
Thank you for the prayers, that means so much, and I do believe in the power of prayers.
3 months ago
Dee, I am gonna miss editing and reading your articles in the short duration that I have known you, I have come to love and respect you for all the things that make Dee Willis, an amazing writer, an amazing human being, an amazingly dedicated MMA advocate/lover, and a wonderful woman. Trust you will have the strength to continue your journey with good hope and good cheer and we hope to share your pains and pleasures on B/R.
from 3 months ago
Thanks so much for your wishes and continued support. I guess I am on a new journey of sorts. Who knows what I will discover next?
3 months ago
Dorothy, please know that this ol' Georgia Boy will be thinking about you and praying for you on a daily basis. Like a whole lot of people here on B/R - I love you D! Keep taking it just one step at a time.
from 3 months ago
Thank you Buddy! I guess it could be worse, at least I am still a tomboy at heart and appreciate sports in general; hopefully that will never change.
3 months ago
Ms Dorothy, I have been participating here on the bleacher report now for about a month give or take. To this day I have not corresponded with an individual who made me feel more welcome or as though I belonged here moreso than yourself. Let me return the favor by stating this, Im sure all would agree, it will be a great loss if you must retire from this forum to focus on more important issues in your personal life. That being said, you must keep your chin up and know there is nothing more important than your health and well being, especially to those close to you. We all understand and wish you the best in whatever challenges you meet. Your obviously a great person and will be greatly missed if you no longer post here. Hopefully the storm passes and tranquil seas lie ahead for you and the situation permits that we see you dock here at the BR ports again. You will be welcomed with open arms. Get well lil lady, your the best. I will root for GSP every chance I get just in case your are not in a position to do so. Your support will be missed. Take care hon.
from 3 months ago
Thanks so much Todd. I never guessed that losing MMA would help me convert more GSP fans. I don't know if I can ever bear leaving B/R entirely. I intend to read as much as I can;whether I will be able to understand and relate to it or not. I hope you continue your journey as a writer and I will look forward to following your career.
3 months ago
Good luck with everything Dorothy, you inspired me to write MMA articles and i will always be grateful for your influence.. i wish you well, your health is most important, i wish you and your family, friends and supporters the best... God bless
from 3 months ago
Gosh, if I have ever been an inspiration to anyone I am the one who is grateful. Thank you for your wishes and may God bless you too!
3 months ago
D
i apologise to quote the Licifer'ean Principle
'the only thing thats wrong in the world - is to deprive yourself of what you want ... thats the only abnormality'
you will definitely be in my prayers Dee -
i really mean that -
from 3 months ago
Thank you so much Long!
3 months ago
well lets see how you feel after the next GSP fight!!!!!!
anyways get well soon Dee.
3 months ago
I am still looking forward to some of the fights, but not with the rabid enthusiasm and more or less hoping to restart my modem or whatever you would call my stalled obsession. The fact that my husband has found me reading the newspaper during "Unleashed" and that I cannot relate to articles on MMA and no longer search for them and read them daily would have been totally unusual before my "event." My whole routine has been altered and I read women's magazines instead of searching the Web. The headaches and blurred vision are troublesome but not unusual for me--only the general loss of interest in MMA. As time goes on, who knows, I may no longer even miss it. Thanks for your get well wish, I am still hoping.
3 months ago
Dorothy
I will put it very simple. YOU do what is best for YOU. do what your heart and head tell you to do. If that means you stop writing so be it. I will always wish you the best and I pray for your health to come back to you. Take care. I enjoyed going back and forth with you here and there.
3 months ago
Thanks for your comment. Right now I don't think anyone could engage me in an argument. I still feel pretty blah, I get bored reading my Fight Magazines, have no interest in my dvds and forget to watch the matches on TV and start reading Horse, or women's magazines. It is hard for me to concentrate on the fight and the other noight I actually got grossed out by blood--not a good sign. But I still try to rekindle my interest. The funny thing is that my husband has never liked MMA and now he is explaining it to me! Who knows, maybe this was meant to be. I could write about MS or children, but not fighting. Guess I will blame it all on Georges.
3 months ago
Hey Ms. Dorothy -
Well if it has to be, it has to be...and certainly no matter what you decide to do, obviously you have a whole bunch of fans who will support you - in your decision and any future endeavors. I'm one of those fans, of course! Being another woman who has become passionate about MMA over the years, it always made me feel like you were a compadre, or a friend in "combat" arms, if you will! So many other women, and in fact a lot of men...my hubby included...just don't understand why I enjoy MMA so much. To me it's the art of the sport. Technique trumps power every time. I think that is similar to how you feel.
Certainly I will miss your blogs, not just for what you write, but HOW you write them...your insight, knowledge and sense of humor. Was JUST going to ask if you'd mind if I added a link from my website to your reports. Still, if you don't have it in you, you don't. Regardless, keep us posted and let us all know how you're doing and what the doctors say!
From a medical standpoint - maybe you could add a daily supplement that includes amino acids to your regimen. Stuff does wonders to help with healing.
Finally - what if GSP walked in through your front door? Do you think that would start the ol' MMA heart a pumpin'? ;-D
3 months ago
As strange as it sounds, I could probably walk past him on the street and not realize it was Georges. My husband has been explaining MMA to me and he is a NASCAR fan who doesn't even like MMA. I have been wearing my Georges' tee shirts but am not all that excited about him; I definitely could not write a poem for him now. The GOOD news is that when we watched the Elite XC fights I remembered Seth Petruzelli's nickname befor they mentioned it on TV and was able to really enjoy the fights again. My husband says I always get "flat." depressed, and unenthused about everything (except my grand kids) every time I have an MS exacerbation. He remembers these things and I don't. He says he thinks I will slowly get back to my joy in MMA, maybe just not with the same people I liked before. Imagine that! I could turn out to be a BJ Penn fan this time around! LOL, but at least laughing.
3 months ago
LOL - oh my, BJ instead of GSP -- please don't let THAT happen! ;-D
Hey - I read this and thought of you:
Everyone gets bogged down with our "real-world" lives, this is great advice on how to stay young and healthy!
Secrets to Maintaining Child-like Enthusiasm
Bring Back the Thrill
Don't let age hamper your happiness
If it's been a while since you last felt pumped up about something, there's nothing wrong with you: You're just getting older.
A recent study by the National Institute of Mental Health uncovered why you don't get excited over presents or the promise of a post-soccer game sundae the way you used to: The pleasure chemical dopamine declines with age, just like your hearing, muscle tone, and memory.
Using FMRI scans, researchers found subjects with an average age of 25 had more activation in the dopamine-triggered area of the brain while receiving rewards from a video slot machine as compared to their 65-year-old counterparts receiving the same positive reinforcement.
"For most people, everything goes into decline after 30," says Patrick Rowan, M.D, chief of mental health ambulatory care at Long Island College Hospital in Brooklyn. "As you age, your overall levels of dopamine start to fall, and your pleasure response will fire from a lower starting point."
This decrease in dopamine over time means enthusiasm tempers, but that doesn't mean you should give up on happiness. In fact, if you work on keeping an upbeat mood, you might be able to slow the affects of your hormonal decline.
"You'll never be as happy as a kid on Christmas morning. That's gone, but don't give up—if you do, you'll lose it even further," Rowan says. "When it comes to the brain and your happy chemicals, you either use it or lose it."
Live an upbeat life, no matter your age, with these tips from Rowan:
Keep Up with Your Crosswords
…or your reading or your love for French film or your Sunday afternoon chats with your politically active friend. Studies show the more you use your mind, the sharper and healthier it will be.
Do What Feels Good
Don't lose interest in the activities you used to love—if you enjoyed it once, chances are you always will. The brain is a natural addict: The first time you engage in an activity, you get a slow release of dopamine. And when you repeat it, you'll get much higher dose of the natural pleasure drug.
Stop Puffing
Smoking speeds up the natural degeneration of everything in your body—including your neurotransmitters. "Smoking puts you at risk for losing dopamine. You're replacing oxygen with smoke, and this hastens the natural process of aging," Rowan says.
Stay Active
Studies show exercise increases serotonin levels, but researchers aren't sure of the sweat-dopamine link. Even so, Rowan says the release of dopamine is associated with a runner's high. Increased levels may not be sustained over time, but the boost can help you get through the rest of the day with a smile.
*****************
Don't know if you "puff" and certainly your disinterest is not due to age, rather your health situation, but saw it and thought it might be worth sharing with you.
Take care of yourself!
Katrina
3 months ago
Katrina, I love the article, have never smoked--I am allergic to cigarette smoke in the worst way, nd think the article applies to me. When I began writing for B/R report it was like a drug to me and I began to feel so pressured to write that sometimes I wrote more than one article in a day. It always made me feel so "high" even when the article brought a lot of negative comments (articles on BJ Penn, for instance). I felt so vital, though, when I was writing. Not being able to write has been like an addict going cold turkey after a lifetime of addiction--there has been no joy. One of the studies I had done showed sleep apnea and I just got a v-pap machine yesterday. The respiratory tech whom I am working with thinks that I will recover in time in spite of my MS, so I am more hopeful. I am going to try to write something today. Thank you for thinking of me and I think your article applies to me, so I appreciate you posting it. Sincere thanks, Grandma Dee
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